Currently HOME: Volume 5 see related

Oh What A Wonderful Dance

Oh what dance! 

The first wonderful step, and he twirls with amazement.

The bright blue set of skies. The dark intersections of sparse clouds. The bold beautiful statement of peace.

Confused. Placid. Mildly bored.

The second of the step, and he missed a beat.

The fast world around him, the feel of isolation and the thought of inanity. And he almost took a plunge.

Confused. Erratic. Twitches.

The third of the step, and he burns with thirst.

The setting of the sky. The birds circling above. The music that they played. And he cried for more.

Confused. Joyous. Evocative.

The fourth of the step, and he remembered curiosity.

The first realisation of self. The colours of our mother. And the endless streams of knowledge.

Confused. Humbled. Tired.

The fifth and final step, and he started to calm.

The permanent path. The steady road ahead. The rocky mountains that would accompany.

Enlightened. Breathless. Absolute.

 Maybe. Maybe. Definitely.

Sleep

                            He was fast asleep. The sleep of sleeps. A deep slumber that shook the whole foundation of the meaning of sleep.

A perfect example what god intended for us to do when we close our eyes,and imagine those faraway places, that could only exists in nothingness.

What is this u ask? This eagerness that probe your feeble little mind while you're fast asleep. The dreaded feel of helplessness and solidities.The phobia of falling into that black hole. The pain of growing up.

Brain neurons firing rapidly, the speeding lights in your brain..interconnecting freeways of synaptic connections. Tens of thousands of them. To make up what you think is you.

This is what happen when you sleep. You die. But your body lives.

This is what happen when you die. You lives. But your body dies.

We are only what we can remember what we are. And this shall be our curse.

                             He started to stir. His breath unsteady. His eyes moving rapidly. Wakefulness is around the corner. Again.

His brain prepping itself for another step towards permanent shut down.

Currently Listening Kind of Blue By Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Cannonball Adderley, Bill Evans see related

The Origin Of US

A Long long time ago, before there was nothing. There were us.

A long long time ago, before there was nothing, somewhere in the speck of time. Somehwhere dark and terribly cold, the absolute zero Fahrenhiet, where the particles seized to dance.

A foreign state of being. We just can't imagine.

A something is at last being built by nothing.

It started with a heat. And the particles were joyous, they danced and they danced. Faster and faster.

Heat can only build up, the chills will somehow disapears, and the particles were elated.

Alas, they seemed to forget, that they are floating in nothingness. And they failed to recall , that they are being build by nothingness.

Dances were erratic, movements were callous. Faster and faster. Proximities became further and further.

Further and further. Stretching what's left of the link between them.

The particles stopped dancing, a loud bang, a bright light.

Vacuum of space finally created. Others will fill the space later.

Particles were perplexed.

Somewhere in the speck of time, nothingness is building something.

Just like this.

Just like us.

Currently Listening EVOL By Sonic Youth see related

Aisle no 13. Kat Tengah Tengah.

Orang tak ramai sangat ari nih.

Aku tolak troli dengan penuh semangat. Pagi tadik aku bangun pukul 8:54 pagi. Tanpa lengah aku bertelanjang bulat dan terus masuk mandi.

Aku pi makan kat restoran Razif. Ada nasik lemak. Tapi aku tak rasa nak makan nasik lemak. Last-last aku minum teh ais dan makan karipap je.

Troli masih tak penuh. Gaji baru je masuk 7 hari lepas. Tapi troli tak penuh lagi.

Bahagian minuman.

Berkotak-kotak jenama air. Coke,Sprite, 7-up, Carlsberg, Spritzer, Nescafe. Macam2.

Semua kalau ko minum akan rosakkan hati ko.

Cilake.

Rosak hati aku.

Aku amik air jenama Pristine. Sumber air bawah tanah Lot 10 Kampung Tanah Merah, Dengkil Selangor.

Kampung mana la diaorang tarah nak korek air jual kat supermarket.

Troli masih belum penuh walaupon sudah di isi dengan 2 kotak air mineral Pristine.

Haih.

Bahagian Ubat-ubatan.

"Tauke kasik aku Valium sebotol!"

Cina tuh ternganga tengok aku.

"Itu Balium mana bole juat! Lu ingat ini negala Myanmar ka?". Gelak berdekah-dekah. Air liur tersembur.

Ketawa lak si cibai nih.

Takper.

Bahagian barangan pencuci rumah.

Aku nak carik sabun untuk cuci jamban. Banyak pilihan. Jiff / Harimau Kuat / Dettol / Clorox // macam-macam lagi.

Pejam mata, sambar jer mana-mana.

Yang ni bau dia sedap. Aku bukak penutup Harimau Kuat.

Pejam mata, dan teguk ajer. Jangan pikir panjang.

Aku perasan suasana jadi sunyi sepi.

Tiada lagi bunyi tapak kaki.

Tiada lagi lagu melayu meleleh sirka 90an berkumandang.

Tiada lagi jeritan budak-budak kecik tak reti bahasa.

Tiada lagi rasa hawa dingin.

Tiada lagi rasa iri hati.

Aku teringat budak melayu yang pi letak comment kat blog dia. Dah la letak gambar botak. Pakai spek mata hitam. Dia ingat macho ke aper. Cam haram. Macho la kot. Kalau tak takde la awek semua dok melayan blog dia. Tak abis-abis nak flirt. Babi la lu. Dia awek gua.

Kepala terasa pening.

Semakin lama aku rasa semakin jauh.

Arghh. Apehal nih. Nama Harimau Kuat! patut aku jadik kuat! bukan pening!

Fuck/.

"SAPA TUHAN MU?!!"

Aku tersentak. Soalan seperti dipekikkan dalam kepala.

"Haaa? amenda soalan nih?"

Kimak. Takkan mati kot. Aku saja nak try?

Sayup-sayup aku ternampak dua lembaga sedang meluru laju ke arah ku.

Salah seorang sedang mengangkat tangan seperti mahu melibas sesuatu ke arahku.

Aduih.

Kemana Hilang Si Lingam

Mak Cet tercari-cari teraba-raba keadaan sekelilingnya. Gelap. Panas. Bahang.

Dari katilnya ke almari plastik yang menyimpan kebanyakan baju2 kurung yang berbau hamis, jarak= 3 kaki

Dari katilnya ke tingkap kayu yang sedang tertutup rapat dan diselak dengan selak yang sudah berkarat dan berpalit tahi cicak, jarak = 6 kaki setengah. Ini adalah jarak serong. Bukan jarak terus.

Dari katilnya ke meja kayu bersaiz 4 x 2 kaki yang tersusun rapi bedak sejuk dan juga minyak atar yang dibeli oleh arwah suaminya ( ketika beliau di Makkah bersama isteri ke-2), jarak = 2 kaki 7 inci.

Dari katilnya ke arah bumbung zink yang berusia 46 tahun, 7 bulan, 14 hari, 4 jam dan 13 saat ( dari tempoh zink mula ditempa sebagai bumbung), jarak = 10 kaki.

Mak Cet terlupa di mana dia letak cermin mata cap Gucci pembelian anak sulung yang berada Saint Vincent and the Grenadines. Anak sulungnya adalah seorang pelacur lelaki kelas atasan yang sedang sibuk membina sekolah anak yatim di sana. Jarak = 15480.56 KM

Mak Cet mengeluh hiba. Susah nak nampak keadaan keliling dalam gelap nih kalau takde kaca mata.

"LINGAMMMMMM!!!!!"

"OOOOOOOOOO LINGAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"

Mana pegi keling sekor nih?

"LINGAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!"

Sunyi sepi.

Bayaran Lingam yang bekerja sebagai jururawat persendirian Mak Cet. Rm = 240 seminggu. Kerja 6 hari.

Mak Cet mula bengang. Awal2 tadi dia termimpi dilawat seorang Jejaka kacak separuh umurnya yang mengajak dia buat sex di atas meja dapur. Di celah lauk pauk malam semalam. Ikan goreng dan sambal petai.

Dia terpaksa menolak tawaran itu. Alasan Mak Cet ialah meja tak cukup kuat.

Jejaka tersebut kecewa, terus melompat dan terbang ke arah barat.

Alasannya, matahari tak terbit di barat.

"LINGGGGGGAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!"

Masih sunyi.

Sepi.

Jarak Mak Cet dengan kematian = 2 jam 13 minit.